God's smile

Every morning I spend an hour alone on a sidewalk under a ceiling of dark clouds which pass by slowly as if they were watching me. That’s part of my job at Murray County High School. I’m a crossing guard. That hour gives me time to reflect. Regretfully, most of the time I don’t think about much of anything.
But today I thought about death. I often obsess about becoming sick and dying, especially dying young. I’ve always feared death. I’ve feared what those moments will be like as we pass from life to death. Will I be afraid? Will I be in control? I tell my wife time and time again that when I obsess over something and it turns out to be nothing that I hear God’s voice saying, “When are you going to learn to trust me.” Maybe today.
This morning as I was thinking about death, I believe God spoke to me. He said, “Why are you so afraid of death? If you’re that afraid then I would think you don’t really believe in Heaven.”
He had a point. After all, what is death if not a prerequisite for Heaven?
I don’t think I have ever been really sure of the existence of Heaven like I am sure that my wedding band is gold. It was always a nice possibility. I am a Christian, but I am truly like Thomas. I need to see the wounds. The idea of Heaven, like the majority of the Gospel message, has seemed at times a little far fetched over the years. So this morning I looked up at the dark clouds and told God, “If there is a Heaven, show me a smile.” I was looking for God to contort the clouds into a smiley face, I reckon.
But it didn’t happen and I looked at the ground and thought, “Stupid.”
About ten seconds later I looked up as a delivery truck rolled by me. On the side was a picture of a little girl, who looked to be maybe 5-years-old, holding a slice of watermelon. She had a big snaggletooth smile on her face.
What can you say? Thomas got his stupid sign.
God tells us in Matt. 19:26 “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”’
All things, from a smiley face on the side of a truck to our heavenly home.
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.
—John 14:1-3
Philippians 3:20-21
But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.
—Philippians 3:20-21
Amen

--Erik